Evocations Trends

Living SINGLE
Saturday September 13 was my birthday. Indeed, I wasn’t surprising that fewer people than in the past years remembered me on this day and of whom hardly a handful went the extra mile and bothered to call to wish me a happn y birthday. I seldom dine out but on that day I decided to invite a few long time friends for a dinner party at a cozy restaurant in Indiranagar.
We sat ourselves comfortably on the exquisitely crafted wooden seats and started off with a feast for our eyes on the breathtaking ambience of the restaurant. Meanwhile as we waited for the chef to do his magic to our orders we engaged ourselves in a light conversation reminiscing on our lives during those days in college, shared some gossip about how several of once close couples in college broke up and made fun of a few incidents that happened after the breakups.
As we continued to chat one of my friends who happened to be a lady popped up the most daring question “How old are you now?” she asked. Silence dropped almost instantly as though everyone was waiting to hear a death announcement and for a moment I bluffed but managed to quickly compose myself and intuitively asked her to guess. And yes, she guessed my age right, although it was after several attempts. But what overwhelmed me the most was the question she asked immediately after the guess which left me visibly overpowered, “So when will you get married?” she asked.
Contrary to the conventional outlook, living single has never really occurred to me as a challenge to overcome in life. Instead I look at being single as an opportunity to do what I wouldn’t have done if I were married or otherwise. By being ‘single’ in this context I mean being a bachelor (never married) and having neither a fiancée nor a girlfriend and you are a straight man (not gay). No doubt being single has its own fair share of shortcomings and I experienced this just the other day when I was among those cordially invited to a corporate party but incidentally the invitation didn’t mention the requirement to come as a couple since the organizers assumed that the invitees would come with their spouses as it has always been the norm. I was denied entry to the dance floor simply because I was single and solo.
I remember another incident when I entered a magnificent restaurant at Connaught’s place in Delhi and the waiter came rushing towards me and asked “Would you like a table for two Sir?” “For one please” I replied. “Please follow me Sir” he said, and quickly ushered me to the furthest hidden corner of the restaurant. I have since detested dining out solo save for the occasional moments when I travel to distant cities or overseas.
I dislike going for movies in cinema halls, not because I am no longer interested in watching the latest movies on the big screen but because it has become almost unthinkable for the public to see a lone guy go for movies. The last time I went to a cinema hall I was given a seat number that was sequentially between two other seat numbers meant for a couple. A few minutes after the start of the movie, the couple arrived and demanded that I leave my seat and take the next one. Of course, I was inconvenienced but being a gentleman; I compromised and offered them my seat.
Besides these occasional hazards, single life is great. Personally, when I draw parallels between the life of a single guy and that of a married one, I feel privileged. It’s not a question of debate over being married or remaining single, it’s a question of how best one utilizes his or her marital status. There are two kinds of circumstances under which one may be single. One is by choice and the other is by force. Being single by choice is a privilege but the forced type of single status is characterized by desperate measures and limited choice for potential mates if any. Many life situations make such single and unmarried people so desperate that they end up marrying anyone who happens to be at the end of their fishing rod. Some of them feel unfortunate to still live with their parents well into their thirties and endure questions of where is he or she and when will it be, insinuations of time running out and parental concern. Eventually pressure compels them to drop the ten-point criteria of their dream spouse and just follow anyone who can bail them out of the prevailing economic tsunami.
Divorce, just a mention of it sends the mind scampering to broken homes and financial distress. In the west divorce is almost always anticipated in marriage and there is a huge price to pay that may cost up to half of one’s fortune. The latest divorce in showbiz is that of Madonna and her ex husband Guy Ritchie whose marriage had lasted well over seven years.
So what was the point in getting married in the first place if they were not destined to be together for life? They would have rather remained as lovers so that in case of any irreconcilable differences in their affair they would simply pack their belongings and leave each other rather than get married and end up losing half their fortune to their ex-spouses in divorce settlements.

Mr. Edward Kasamba is an Alumnus of GCC, B.Com. Class of 2003-04.