Thus, blooms slowly a fake flower - rich in fragrance of pretension and hypocrisy focused at 'self-achievement'. One's duty to the society and the country slowly trips into the trash. Discipline is no longer a weapon to fight for truth but a quality, a willingness to remain suppressed, silent and smolder under inequality and injustice. It's not the power to stand upright and protest unfairness but an art to act dumb and deaf to it.

I was born optimist but this gradual change in weather, may be, made me a strong pessimist. I don't exactly remember when I began to read a 'half-filled glass' as 'half-empty'. But there is one string in common between the op-and-pess me - I like the way I am. For now, I plot and prepare for failure and dejection even before I am blessed with it. A wise and in-trend style to live in today's world. Trust and transparency is on the verge of extinction.

Why my pen is flowing from pretension to pessimism is because I want to say something. One, we are in a state confusion and the other, we fear to accept that we are confused. I would refer to some seen situations to explain the deadness of our education. Prevalence of poverty and destitution is as much a fact as the 'east' of sun. Much piercing and scorching is the pain of those sufferers. Mission 5 was an idea to help the needy, borne from amongst a crowd of 3000 students. Obviously, such noble idea of helping the poor, service to society, expected of the young minds to come forward and act on a stage which they would have always been looking for.
But it was proved wrong. The 'idea' was very well appreciated. But only appreciated. We call it a students' initiative but ever since its birth, not more than 20 students have been a part of any activity. Our list of supporters and volunteers run pages but the number halts at 20
They are probably waiting for innovative animation software to select and delete all garbage from the society and fill it with colours of prosperity. Liberty, equality and fraternity is only in the constitution of the 'able-s'. In the process, Mission 5 only made futile attempts of encouragement and motivation.

People are already awakened to the point of saturation. No more gyaan or guidance. This is vivid in the one-sided growth of the nation. A celeb-wedding hits the headlines and farmers suicides hits the no-land. Any sign of discrimination and danger, we stand up to blame the government. and leaders.

Conclusion is a confusion - let others do such social acts but I never step into it. We don't want to do good things but if others rise in doing well, we feel jealous.

Being a part of Mission 5, I also learnt the value of Rs. 5/- with what difficulty do people spare it and how deep, long they breathe and think on the idea of it attempting to transform the life of poor. Whether the amount reaches the right place is second, first is whether the person asking for it is good or bad, smart or dull, friend or enemy.

Many more insights have this pessimist mind scooped in the 4-month run of Mission 5. Many won't like it because they might find themselves in it. But like them, to me that concern of not hurting is secondary and to write 'truth' is primary. While calling a student to see a documentary on water crisis, I got a brilliant reply. “Is it related to Bollywood?” The boiling weather has not yet touched him. What an 'achievement'?

We have never put any of our reports covered by newspapers amongst the posters of many fashion events and fine payment, on notice-boards. The doors to acquire knowledge of our endeavor and comment were and are always left open for all.

May be, I am expecting a lot from people because I am a part of Mission 5 activities. But despite all our difficult effort, when the auditorium remains empty, none comes to support an old lady dying right near the college, so busy to 'unable' a visit to a nearby orphanage, not more than 20 of 3000 souls to visit Blind school, not more than 15 for sapling plantation and a 5-min scold to donate Rs.5/- compels this 'dark-lover' to foresee how difficult it is to attempt to transform things in today's 'busy', 'confused' and 'self-loving' world and make it a better place to live in.