Old Age Homes
Are Dreams Only Limited To Yougesters?

This ‘home’ away from home with a large family, the latter are like the leaves of a tree in autumn about to wither away. Sunrise has nothing new in store for them. They have come to the very end of the road, the very corner. Their emotions have all but dried up, the feelings frozen and there is no ray of hope to cheer them. The symbolic huge walls, the barriers of metal gates engulfing the house and the green patch of the earth surrounding it will no longer fascinate them. By and large, it is only a house but not a home for them. An old age home is that it is called.

A question comes to my mind. Are dreams restricted only to the youngsters? Certainly, not! The veterans do have dreams too. They dream of being in the vicinity of their own blood. They dream of being with their kith and kin. They wish to be given considerable attention by people around them. Be contented to visualise their kith and kin’s progress. Be respected and obeyed by their children. At the fag end of their lives, they are meant to reap the fruits of their hard work. They would love to narrate their experiences and are overwhelmed with joy and feel proud if their guidance or suggestions are sought for and espected. During this lean phase, they are not curious to explore new things. Rather they relish and recall old memories, incidents, and of course the tough paths they crossed through the various hurdles in life. Above all, they need an attentive ear and that proves to be their best pass time.

Unfortunately, in reality, somewhere something goes wrong and they finally land up in these homes for the aged.

Pragmatically speaking, they are not poor in terms of materialistic possessions. They are poor of love and affection.

I still question myself and make attempt to find the reason for the sad state of affairs. Where does the fault lie? Who is to be blamed? Should the old and aged be blamed for their ulnerability?

Statistics of those who dwell in old age homes indicate that majority of them have well settled sons and daughters. Irresponsible sons, nagging daughters in law, greedy sons in law and many heartless others have all deserted them just like one discards the muck from the juicer after extracting the juice. Is it so difficult to empathise with the very people who are responsible for our very own existence on earth?

In 2001, I had the opportunity to attend Mahakumbh Mela in Allahabad. I was shocked to see many aged people abandoned in the crowd. As a matter of fact, this was deliberately done by their own relatives who wanted to get rid of them. This is the height of exploitation of innocence in the name of gods and bliss of spirituality. Is it not shameful and audacious to happen in the land of Rama and Krishna?

I do agree that that for lonely widows, widowers and the like who suffer from persistence problems or those who have no helping hands, old age homes are the ideal places to live. In such indispensable situations, they enjoy the company of the same age group around them and stay happily. But most of hem are just compelled to stay there due to gruesome circumstances back home and will just end up counting their last days.

Some old people feel that they are under lock and key, restricted within the four walls missing their own folks and deprived of an opportunity to play with their grandchildren. After all, each one has his own way of breaking ice (spending their last few years of life). When all their dreams are shattered, they undergo a sort of depression and feel that the old age homes are the ideal places to spend their time till the fag end of their lives.

I personally feel that looking after elders is not a hard nut to crack. They never expect someone to be with them round the clock but they demand a little time to be spared for them from each member of the house.

One has to give them solace to reduce their loneliness and talk to them about their aches and ailments. One has to rejuvenate their spirits by sharing their coveted experiences. They may be shrewd, skeptic, cynical and bubbling with anger. By ignoring such negative points and matching their wave length with that of ours with a cool approach as the modus operandi to deal with our age old parents/in-laws. One has to just give a t r y r a the r than dumping the i r responsibility on the missionary people who run the old age homes. So just think twice, before you, act!

                                                                                                                                Ms. Kirana Shekar
                                                                                                                      Lecturer, Dept. of Microbiology