Come December 22 2007, my lovely elder sister Esther will be Cgetting married to her long time beau, Emma. This will be a love marriage as is the order of the day in today's African society. Well, it wasn't like so in the days when our great grand parents were getting united in matrimony. I pondered for a while to think about how our traditional African society went about with marital unions especially how they found a life partner for themselves and the events that followed thereafter. Traditionally when a child reached maturity, parents had the responsibility to look for a life partner for that child from the rightful families. By rightful I mean a right upbringing and a good family history and reputation in society. This enabled such marriages to last for a life time. Parents had a big role in deciding their child's spouses and children always sought their parent's blessings in marriage. The selection of a prospective spouse was decided upon after ensuring that certain qualities have been observed in him or her. In those days, the Gregorian calendars were not kept to determine one's age or date of birth. So one's maturity was determined mostly by physical appearance, ability to conceive and readiness to take up responsibility for oneself as well as others. Normally, it was the responsibility of parents of an unmarried young man to go around looking into other families for a prospective wife for their son. On the discovery of the prospective wife, the young man's parents would begin negotiations with the parents of the prospective wife to allow their son to visit them. After the parents of the bride to be have agreed to invite the young man at their home, the family of the young man would then arrange for him to make a visit to the family of the prospective wife. He was however forbidden to see his bride-to-be and would only visit to meet the other family members. This ceremonial occasion marked the beginning of a period traditionally called 'kyama' which when translated literally means 'a secret'. It's until the approval of the marital union of the prospective couple is granted by the parents of the bride-tobe that the kyama ends and this was the same day when an official traditional introduction ceremony called 'kwanjula' takes place. On the kwanjula, the groom-to-be returns to the family of the bride-to-be and this time he is accompanied by siblings, friends and representatives of his parents. It was a must that the groom-to-be should be accompanied by a female and preferable his sister among others in the entourage. The parents of the groomto- be are strictly forbidden to attend the kwanjula and are only allowed to choose their delegates to represent them at the function. On the kwanjula, the entourage of the groom-to-be is warmly welcomed and is traditionally offered water and coffee beans. The function would start with both families introducing each other by saying their entire ancestral lineage till the final head of the clan who is traditionally called the 'kasolya'. This was done in order to avoid same clan marriages which are tantamount to incest and are traditionally and morally an abomination. After tracing their ancestral lineages and are found to be different then the function would begin by calling upon the aunty (also called Senga in luganda) of the bride-to-be to felicitate the groom-to-be. After the felicitation, the bride-to-be is then introduced to the groom-to-be by her aunty. Later, the main speaker at the function would be offered wine that is traditionally called 'enjogeza' which he must take from a traditional pot called 'endeku' without using a straw. The groomto- be is traditionally asked to pay dowry to the family of the bride-tobe in the form of cash by paying ten thousand which is called 'Omutwalo', a jerry can of traditional wine and chicken for the brother of the bride-to-be. In addition to the dowry, the groom-to-be was supposed to give four pieces of back cloth to the father, mother, aunty and brother of the brideto- be. After the dowry is paid, the speaker then announces the date for the wedding and the kwanjula is officially concluded. The time between the kwanjula and the wedding day is very important because this is the time when the brideto- be is taught by her aunty (Senga) on how to behave in a home with her husband. She is also advised on what to do, when to do something and what not to do at home with her husband. In comparison to the modern trends of marriage in the African society today, the couple normally meets and falls in love. Consultation from parents by the children about their choice of a life partner is overlooked and does not play a part in their decision to get married. It has also become something normal to make love as a couple even before being united in matrimony. Traditionally, you are restricted from sleeping with the opposite sex, let alone receiving him or her in your room but today in Africa cohabiting has become much a part of a young unmarried couple's love life and sadly many children in our African society have been born out of wedlock. The kwanjula is very important because one is able to know if his fiancée or her fiancé belonged to the same or different clans as it is traditionally a taboo to commit incest, however, this has been over looked and disregarded by many young couples in Africa today. Also the duties of the Senga to advise the brideto- be about her marital duties have been scorned at and are given little or no attention. Don't miss the next evocations column which will be the last part about marriage in the African tradition. Edward Kasamba B. Com (Batch 2003 - 2004)